Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Bittersweet

In spring of 2004, Robin and I were boyfriend and girlfriend, living in the Twin Cities. Looking for an adventure and a new place to live after graduation, we headed to Austin, TX--I to attend graduate school and Robin to begin his career. Knowing that we would most likely spend our lives together and wanted to raise a family in the midwest with childhoods very much like our own, we planned to return north in five years. We felt that five years would allow us to give a new place a good run, and we wanted to feel like we were really making the choice to settle down so close to both of our hometowns rather than live there by default.

Seven years later, Austin has become so much more than a place to have fun before we grew roots--it is the place where we got engaged, lived as newlyweds, bought our first home and built our second, where we developed our professional identities, learned that we were pregnant and welcomed our first child. Austin is where we really become "us" and learned how to be a family. For those of you who read Robin's very sweet Mother's Day post, this will not come as a tremendous surprise, but it is with very bittersweet emotions that I announce our plans to relocate to Minnesota this summer.

Minnesota has always felt like home, and each time I've left over the past seven years, I have felt an almost desperate need for the reassurance that one day, Robin and I and now Lydia would return for good. Each fall when the leaves in Minesota are turning colors and we are still enduring ridiculous heat, each winter when Christmas is coming and I'm pumping gas in short sleeves, I have felt a sinking feeling in my stomach. Robin and I both have missed the culture, the Twin Cities, our friends and family, and even the weather, and this year, we knew a move was right. I began my job search in February, and during a time when so many people are looking for work, I was very fortunate to be offered a teaching position at a school in Brooklyn Park.

While there is so much to look forward to and be happy about, I have found myself overcome with lots of sadness during the past couple weeks as this move becomes more real. We will be leaving behind a lot. Friends that have come to feel like family, family members in Austin that have come to be good friends, coworkers who have been a daily source of laughter, love, and support, and all of Lydia's friends--children that we love dearly and have been privileged to see on a regular basis--kids that we would gladly raise as our own. We have spent the past seven years maintaining long distance friendships, so we know that the relationships we have built here will not vanish, but still, the emotional weight of saying goodbye to an entire community is very real.

Logistically, our house is on the market, we're searching for daycares in Brooklyn Park, and are in the beginning stages of our house search in the Twin Cities. Moving dates are not yet set, especially since it is looking like Robin will have to remain in Austin a bit longer than Lydia and I, and I am currently performing acrobatics as I jump through the hoops of the Minnesota Department of Education. It is a good thing that we intend to stay in Minnesota permanently, because the bureaucracy of becoming certified in a new state is enough to send me over the edge. Along with all of this, we are trying to process the idea of life in an old/new place and dream of what our new life will look like while attempting to relish every last moment in Austin and spend as much time with friends as possible.

There will be lots of updates to come, but for now, I wanted everything to be out in the open--so much is on the horizon.

2 comments:

  1. When I saw this pop up just now, I knew I shouldn't look at it because it would make me cry. Why didn't I listen to myself? The Luthers will miss the Gansers in a way that I can't actually even begin to imagine yet. We are beyond thrilled that you all are going back to a place that you love so much and that you are excited to raise Lydia in. But man, we will miss you like crazy down here! Thank goodness for Skype - amiright?

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  2. Beautifully written, Laurie. We can't wait to have you close but I can't imagine the heartbreak of leaving behind such an important place.

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