Follow-Ups

Immunizations - We managed to keep ahead of it this time by giving her Tylenol on the way to the pediatrician's , and Lydia never even had a temperature. No throwing up or anything else, either.

Diapers - We are trying to stick with chlorine-free diapers, so we tried Earth's Best on the recommendation from Jenny, and they are working much better. It must just be a baby-to-baby thing, because we know lots of people that have been very happy with Seventh Generation.

Sleeping - Self-soothing is going very well! Lydia slept last night from 7:30-7:10 this morning. It took about ten minutes to fall asleep (Robin went in and patted and shhhhh-ed her once) and woke up for about 10 minutes in the middle of the night with the same drill. Napping is falling into place also, but a little more slowly.

Solids - Lydia is doing great with the rice cereal, and it is so cute to watch her open her mouth in anticipation of the spoon! We are going to go to AM and PM "meals" next week, and then introduce a vegetable the following week. We have American Academy of Pediatric's Guide to Your Child's Nutrition on the way to figure out what veggie to try, how much, etc.

Life is good!

Ferberizing

For those that don't know, Dr. Richard Ferber authored a book called Solving Your Child's Sleep Problems that advocates allowing your baby learn to soothe itself to sleep, commonly known as the Cry-It-Out method. Just last week, I told a coworker that I was not ready for this, but then...

As I mentioned in previous posts, Lydia's sleeping pattern started changing pretty drastically last week. Our happy, champion sleeper of a baby started resisting falling asleep and then waking up two, three, even four times to nurse. By Tuesday, she woke up 4 times, and when we would pick her up, she would smile and coo, and when I would try to nurse her back to sleep, she would smile and play, clearly not interested in nursing at all. We initially tried to solve this by giving her the pacifier, which would soothe her back to sleep. When that stopped working, I felt like all of the things we had done to get her to sleep so well were backfiring: the swaddle, nursing her to sleep, the pacifier.

After one week of this, I decided, in my exhausted, sleep-deprived stupor (at 2:30 AM, mind you), that the problem must be her swaddle. It was already loose because our pediatrician had suggested transitioning her out of it, and she kept getting her arms out in weird ways and pulling the fabric up by her face. I took her arms out, rewrapped the swaddle around her body, and laid down on the futon in the nursery, hoping she would mellow out. No such luck. To make a long story short, we had a very long night that ended with a very unhappy Lydia completely out of her swaddle and in a pair of PJs that were WAY too small for her and an incoherent, exhausted mother and father. At one point Robin and I let her cry in her crib while we tried to figure out what to do. (Side note: If anybody knows how to have these middle-of-the-night conversations in a calm, collected manner, please let me know. Ours are always frantic and frustrated. Not exactly the most effective communication.) In the midst of this, we decided to wait 5 minutes and see if she would calm down and... she did! She started crying again about 15 minutes later and we waited again, and the little stinker calmed herself down again. Hence, the decision that it was time to try letting her "cry it out."

Yesterday when nap time came, I took her upstairs, rocked her, and put her in her crib, relaxed but awake. I patted her for about 1 1/2 min. and left the room. She cried for about 15 minutes total, with me going in the room once to calm her down. She then slept, unswaddled in her crib for 90 minutes, which is a first. Her afternoon nap did not go quite as smoothly, but the longest she cried was 15 minutes, again with me going in once to pat her and shush her and calm her down.

Robin and I braced ourselves for a long night and figured out how to split the time so we would both get at least some sleep. At her usual bedtime, I nursed her, rocked her for a few minutes, and then put her in the crib. I patted her for a minute and a half, and left a smiling baby in the crib. Here's the miracle: she went to sleep with no tears, and woke up ten hours later. No swaddle. No pacifier. I woke up happy and well-rested and found a happy and well-rested little girl waiting for me.

Today's naps have been a little better, and we'll see how tonight goes. Everything I've read has said to expect the process to take 3-7 days, so I doubt we're done. I will also say that there is nothing easy about sitting and listen to your baby cry. Yesterday during her nap, I sat with the baby monitor, obsessing over the little lights flashing that indicated she was crying. I called Robin at one point nearly in tears, convinced that I was destroying my relationship with Lydia and she would never trust me again. Now in my less sleep-deprived state, I have realized that I am a much more loving, patient parent when I am well-rested, which will probably do more for our relationship long-term than rocking her to sleep now. It also has been incredibly helpful to see Lydia today, cuddly, rested, and happy.

I would never, ever say that this method is right for every parent or every baby, not because it's too hard, but because for some it probably just doesn't work. But for us, I think it's going to be a good thing. My fingers are crossed!

No Quick Fix

I would like to thank everyone who was sent advice and encouragement following my post regarding Lydia's sleep issues. Thanks to many of you, here are the conclusions we have reached:

1.) The sleep change is normal. Whether it's a four-month thing, a teething thing, or just a baby thing, these things happen.

2.) The frustration that accompanies it is normal. As I was reminded, lack of sleep makes everything seem 50 times worse. It really does.

3.) There is no quick fix. I wish there was a single thing we could buy or do to get Lydia back on her regular sleep schedule and completely erase her teething pain. There seem to be things that help, but as so many moms (and one helpful dad) have said (and I have now realized), patience is really about it. Lydia is napping beautifully, she is eating well, she is staying super alert and happy for longer periods of time during the day (other than when she has random teething meltdowns that include pulling at her cheeks and chewing on her fingers), and we are keeping her active. Babies just do this, and if there was a magic cure, we would know what it was, and the problem wouldn't exist anymore. I keep thinking about the advice my doula gave me when I was getting impatient towards the end of my pregnancy, that babies will be born on their birthdays, and there is nothing you can do to just make them come. I think one of the reasons pregnancy is so long and filled with challenges is to prepare us for the challenges that come with childrearing, one of them being the complete loss of control. Just like Lydia was born on her birthday, she will return to her sleep pattern when she does. Now I am just trying to summon patience...

10 hrs.

In the past two weeks, Lydia has been steadily increasing her sleep time. She has been consistently sleeping for 8 hrs. at a time during the night, and we are slowly working out naptimes. She's not really on a nap schedule, but she's on a consistent cycle, and her daytime naps seem to be stretching out a bit. I've even taken to napping with her in the afternoons, leaving me feeling a little less harried. She is currently in the process of breaking her personal best; she has slept for 10 hours. That's right, kids. TEN HOURS!!! I was told these days would come, but I didn't believe it until now! I'm going to go grab a bowl of cereal, and maybe even eat it in peace!