The Guilt List

I got into my first internet fight. Actually, it wasn't so much a fight as me shooting back at a comment on a blog post in a very direct way. I wasn't mean or anything, the post just struck a nerve. The blog post was about the daycare this couple has found for their child, who is due this summer. The blogger is pretty popular, and one of the comments was very derogatory, criticizing her choice of daycare, saying it was too expensive, and questioning the blogger's decision of giving so much of her paycheck to a daycare in order to "pay someone to raise your child for you" and "just stay in the rat race." Now, you go after a fellow working outside of the home mom (to-be) and I will come out swinging in their defense. Why make someone feel guilty for a choice that affects nobody but a person and their family? Maybe it's a mutual self-conscious, vulnerable thing, but seriously. Personal choices are personal. Enough said.

That, paired with another recent blog post I read on the Mommy Wars (the very competitive, weird, petty conflicts between parents on things like sleep training, breastfeeding, cosleeping, you name it) and the resulting guilt these conflicts create. Something about pregnancy and parenting brings out this weird, outspoken, competitive, critical side in people, and it seems that EVERYTHING is up for critique.

So without further ado, my guilt list: the things I have someone has told me are wrong--either to my face or in book/blog/website form. I was going to explain the choices below, but I have decided not to. Consider this me, releasing the guilt.

*We let Lydia cry herself to sleep at 4.5 months.

*We gave her rice cereal at 4 months, two months before we were supposed to.

*We gave her cow's milk at 11 months, one month before we were supposed to.

*She still uses a pacifier during the day for naps and when she is crabby.

*She is in daycare, and I work full-time. This summer, she will stay in daycare two days a week, even when I am on summer vacation.

*I tell people we make all of Lydia's food. Secretly, we keep a stash of store-bought food for outings or when we are in a pinch.

*Her crib had a bumper until she used it to try to pull herself up to sitting. (This was another subject of criticism on the blog where the woman was criticized for sending her child to daycare.)

*She moved into said crib at two weeks, thus moving out of her bedroom.

*We never considered co-sleeping.

*We never considered cloth diapers.

*I love putting Lydia in frilly, girly clothes, even though my Women's Studies degree screams at me every time I do.

And there it is. Judge away, internets.

Addendum: I remembered three big ones:

*I chose to give birth without pain medication. I wasn't so much criticized as told I was crazy.

*We chose to find out Lydia's sex before she was born.

*I weaned Lydia from breastmilk before she wanted to be weaned.

And there you have it.  Again.