Friday, August 6, 2010

How Did I Get Here?

Yesterday was Robin's and my fifth wedding anniversary. We will be officially celebrating on Saturday, but yesterday was filled with reflecting and remembering, and I have to say, there's something about the number five that feels like a significant milestone.

Robin and I didn't struggle with a huge transition to married life; it wasn't a challenge for us. Like every couple, we've had periods during our lives together that are stressful and, naturally, the stress can affect the way we interact with each other, but overall, we've had five fantastic years of marriage added to four really wonderful years of dating prior to our wedding, and when an anniversary comes up, it's a little mind boggling to step back and realize that five whole years have passed since we exchanged vows.

Moreso, it's a very surreal to realize that, without a shadow of a doubt, I am five years older than I was on that day. While I've experienced a lot and grown tremendously, I don't feel very different, and yet, I'm a mom, a professional, and, yes, I'm slowly but surely closing in on thirty. These realizations really make me step back and wonder how I managed to get here.

I don't mean this in a "Poor me, time moves so fast and it's slipping by," way. While I am the first to admit that during the past year and a half, I have had "How did I get here?" moments that were not blissful, joyous, or poetic, often involving a wailing child, an exhausted mother, and one two many irons in the fire, but fortunately, those experiences have been fleeting, and while they will continue to come, genuine, general content is a pretty good coping tool. In contrast, sometimes I will remove myself from a moment and marvel at the things around me and realize how happy I am with where I landed--with the amazing network of friends we have across the country, with Lydia, who I find to be amazing, and with Robin who, five years later, is without a doubt the perfect match for me.

It's such a privilege to have moments in which you realize that where you have ended up is better than what you could have imagined--and, even better, it's real and everyday.

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